May 10, 2018
This is a story about a time in my motherhood journey when everything changed. I moved from Ottawa, Canada to a suburb of Seattle, Washington in January 2006. Before I had a chance to make any friends or meet any neighbors, my husband left on a week-long business trip leaving me home with my 4-year-old and my 2-year-old, and I was 3 months pregnant.
My husband had been gone a for a few nights when I woke up to use the bathroom (remember all the pregnancy peeing?!?) When I got out of bed, I blacked out, fell on my belly, and woke up on my daughter’s bedroom floor paralyzed. I lay there for hours unable to move or speak.
After hours of asking, negotiating, and begging to GET UP, my body finally came back to me and after the vertigo and burning ceased, I was able to get up and get my kids dressed and fed and down to the hospital. What followed was months of testing, the birth of my third baby, drastic changes to my mothering, tons more testing, and ultimately this prognosis by my neurological team:
“We don’t know what you have. But we can tell you that based on the brain damage we are seeing from your ‘incident’, you only have 5 years to live.”
· what my life was like after receiving a death sentence
· how my mothering changed after my brain crash
· my ultimate breaking point 3 years after my diagnosis
· how drugs ruined me and mindset saved me
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